Obsessed

I've become obsessed with my notebook. I write down every little thought that goes through my head. I wake up, write. I carry it around at school with me, write during my free time. Go home, write. Am forced to eat supper, write. Before i go to sleep, i write. I practically sleep with it now. I'm hoping it'll help. So far, I've controlled myself well. I really need that job. Any job. Except somewhere with food. Any retail store. Honestly, I'm desperate to get away.
I had started thinking about moving in with my mom.. but i realized that would be a HUGE mistake. I eat there. Because I'm happy there. [I know weird.. but i don't eat when I'm upset, i eat more when I'm happy] This morning i just about shot my step mom. She came downstairs and bitched at me "if i get woken up before 6 ONE MORE TIME, I'M TAKING OFF YOUR FUCKING DOOR!!" ummm okay? I don't understand what taking my door is going to do, I'm still going to wake up at 5:30 because I cant get ready in time. Maybe if i had my own fucking CAR, i wouldn't have to take the stupid bus! Which means i wouldn't get to school an hour and a half before class starts. UGH!
Sorry guys, this is me just kinda venting. Oh, plus Ashley and i got in a big fight. which sucked. i wanted to cry. this whole long distance thing isn't really working great for us. I'm not going to give up yet though. I'm pretty sure she's "the one", you know?
xx
Gabie

To Aimee

Thanks for the comment :]
I just realized i dont think i've posted anything about my life really, or even me as a person. Soo... here i go :]
My name is Gabrielle Shea, but i go by Gabie and/or Shea. I'm 16, a junior in high school. I'm bisexual. I have a girlfriend, her name is Ashley, she's the love of my life. I get to go see her in Colorado this summer. :] She's beautiful. and i actually plan on marrying her. I live with my dad, stepBITCH..*ahem* stepmother (julie), and my step sister. and my chocolate lab mocha who is my baby :] aside from my mood swings i'm a really happy bubbly person. i love to talk AND listen. pretty much any kind of socializing. i'm very much a people person.
I cut, I smoke, I drink, I overdose, I've done drugs.. i'm NOT a good person.. but i am a good friend. or at least i like to think i am.
I just recently got in contact with my mom again. i like spending my weekends at her house. i'm thinking about moving in with her this summer. i have 2 half brothers, brandon and matthew. matt is moved out, he's 20. and my little brother brandon is 12.. and suffers from ADHD, OCD and autism. its pretty hard to deal with for my mom, but she does pretty good for working at walmart for a living.
I love being close to people but i find it really hard to do so because of my current condition. Especially ashley, my gf. i kill her with the obsessive calorie counting and fits i throw over things such as food. ana is the one thing i wont give up for ashley.. i almost feel guilty but its for my own good, and probably hers too. she wouldn't want to be with a fat lard. anywho.. if anybody has anymore questions let me know! and feel free to email me, cheekymonkee7111@yahoo.com. i have a phone you can text me too, just email me and ask for my number :] keep strong everybody, your on your way to perfection. xoxoxo, Gabie