From Ana

Why cant you understand? I wish you would listen. Remember i'm GOOD. I'm the good guy here. I LOVE you. More than anyone. More than your parents... More than your Ashley. How did you feel when your dad was so proud of you because you were finally trying to take control? You disappointed him by being such a grotesque pig. He'd happily buy you brand new size 0 jeans. Not a size 10!!.. You make me sick. You have no self control. But dont worry, We'll fix that and you'll thank me for it. Now go get rid of some of that fat on your body.
Ana
xx

I have two job interviews, one of them is completely perfect. Its at a hardware store about a mile away, so in order to even get to work i have to bike or run a mile to get there. Plus, work always keeps me from eating. Hooray. Hooray.

"I don't need them anymore..."

I'm almost 18, I dont need my parents to tell me what to do.
They betrayed me, I dont need my friends to tell me how to be.
She cheated, I dont need her love anymore.
I just need me, those beautiful bones about to shine through, and those scars on my wrist that remind me never to go back to this misery..

xx

Numb

Numb with fattness that is. Its like its sucked the life out of me. I want to feel again. To feel the hunger pains clawing at my stomach, the high after you haven't aten for days, it makes you feel like you can fly, fly, fly.
Dear Ana, come back to me. Make me pretty. Make me feel. You are my secret weapon for success. This time, i wont fail you.
xx

Been a while...

I haven't gained.. but i sure as hell haven't lost.. in these past few months of misery.

I'm going to be better now. I dont need anyone. Anyone but Ana. I'm pretty sure I've completely lost my mind but i've never felt so right.

Welcome back, back to the road to perfection. This is all you have, so take it and run.

-Gabie