Obsessed

I've become obsessed with my notebook. I write down every little thought that goes through my head. I wake up, write. I carry it around at school with me, write during my free time. Go home, write. Am forced to eat supper, write. Before i go to sleep, i write. I practically sleep with it now. I'm hoping it'll help. So far, I've controlled myself well. I really need that job. Any job. Except somewhere with food. Any retail store. Honestly, I'm desperate to get away.
I had started thinking about moving in with my mom.. but i realized that would be a HUGE mistake. I eat there. Because I'm happy there. [I know weird.. but i don't eat when I'm upset, i eat more when I'm happy] This morning i just about shot my step mom. She came downstairs and bitched at me "if i get woken up before 6 ONE MORE TIME, I'M TAKING OFF YOUR FUCKING DOOR!!" ummm okay? I don't understand what taking my door is going to do, I'm still going to wake up at 5:30 because I cant get ready in time. Maybe if i had my own fucking CAR, i wouldn't have to take the stupid bus! Which means i wouldn't get to school an hour and a half before class starts. UGH!
Sorry guys, this is me just kinda venting. Oh, plus Ashley and i got in a big fight. which sucked. i wanted to cry. this whole long distance thing isn't really working great for us. I'm not going to give up yet though. I'm pretty sure she's "the one", you know?
xx
Gabie